This is so unfair...

My husband received some very bad news yesterday. Before I say what the news is, I need to give a brief history. My husband lost his father to lung cancer at the very young age of 4. Throughout his childhood/teens, he lived with a couple different friends. As you can imagine, he became very close with the parents, especially the fathers. They served as wonderful male influences for him. After he met me, my father and he also became very close. If you have read any previous entries, you know my father passed away in 2007 after a short battle with lung cancer. Two years ago, one of the men he lived with died of a massive heart attack. Well, yesterday, he got a phone call from his best friend (the other family he lived with) and his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Life is just so unfair. I feel for all of the families of these men, my family included. It's hard to watch someone suffer or to lose one so suddenly. But this is happening repeatedly to men that are very important to my husband. I remember when I had learned about my father's cancer diagnosis, I was crushed. Not only for me, but for my husband because it was happening all over again. He was too young to remember his father's battle with cancer and I just knew that watching my father was going to be doubly hard for him because he would understand what his mother and sister's went through so many years ago. This just sucks :(

My biggest problem with being a SAHM

First of all--I love almost everything about being a stay at home mom. I love that I get to watch my boys grow and learn daily. I love that when it's nice I can get things done quickly and then spend the day outside--at the playground usually. There are just so many positive aspects that I adore and wouldn't change for anything in the world. However, I have one huge problem. I HATE HATE HATE not making any money! I feel so guilty for buying anything that isn't a necessity, and try to avoid it, but I really stink at that. What am I buying, you ask? I get bored with cooking or just don't feel like doing it so I want to run out and take the boys somewhere quick or just different. Or I want a good coffee or soda or to take them out for ice cream. But because I am not making the money, I feel so guilty. (Yes, I still do it because I have no willpower though). For instance, I went to pick up Troy from preschool and wanted to take him and Will out for lunch because for most of the year, my mom or a close family friend would pick him up and take him out to eat before bringing him home. The problem--I had no cash. I didn't want to use a credit card but didn't want to dip into the cash stash we have because it wasn't a good reason. It was driving me nuts! I was like, "I JUST NEED $15!!!!!!" Now before anyone beats me up about admitting this--I know I work my tail off as a stay at home mom. I cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, take care of the lawn (somewhat), and most importantly take care of our boys. I know that I deserve the little extras here and there, but I can't justify spending the money easily when I am not making it. AAUUGGHHHH
Oh and Mom--this is not a hint for you to give me money or take me out--just had to throw that out there :D

Dance Recital

My niece had her dance recital last night and at first, I was a little peeved. 1) They didn't allow cameras??? WHAT! I couldn't take pictures of the most beautiful little dancer????I mean, just look at her

2) They made her wear lipstick--red lipstick. She's 4??? Dont' start this already!!!
3) Since you couldn't take pictures, you could guess what else ticked me off. NO VIDEO! ACK! What kind of place is this??? Apparently pretty normal as I have now heard other people saying the same thing, but still annoying. Anyway, enough griping about it.....
After getting there and seeing the 30 acts that were scheduled to perform, I was a tad in shock. I thought they would have them perform by age and then you could just clap, squeal and bolt. Yeah, not so. Anaka was in performance #21 and couldn't leave until the end so I had to sit through all of it. IT WAS AWESOME!!! I was so amazed at how adorable the little ones were and how incredibly talented the rest were. It was just a wonderful show and I was in complete awe at the stamina of some of those dancers--some danced in, like, 10 acts! I have to be honest though. I was almost in tears almost all night. I don't even know why dancing gets to me like that, but it does. Maybe it's because I was too much of a tomboy to stick with it as a child and now I am ticked at myself. If only I would have stuck with dancing and piano instead of playing soccer....I could be on Dancing with the Stars or something. Hush! I can dream, can't I.....

Am I Asking Too Much?

This will be short and sweet. I know my mother will have something to say about this, but oh well.
Is it asking too much to be able to go to the bathroom in peace? Do I really have to have 2 little boys in there with me when we are at home smacking my legs, tickling me, trying to open and shut the door on me, asking me a thousand questions, getting into the cabinets (trying to anyway), playing in the shower.....I just want to pee in peace!! Okay I feel better. And if you are wondering why I say my mom is going to have something to say--apparently, we never left her alone when she was in the bathroom either. She always says "PAYBACK". Could I get a little sympathy.... just a little?

My previous life...

Before I had kids, I used to work as an athletic trainer. Most people would ask one of a few questions:
1) What is that?
2) So you work in a gym and get people in shape?
3) You're basically a water girl right?
As you can imagine, these questions didn't always sit well with me or other athletic trainers. What was worse is once, my mom told someone I was an Athletic Supporter. BIG OOPS. Yes, Mom just called me a jock strap. A little education is in order and then the explanation for why I am even posting about this.
Education--Class, take your seats:
An Athletic Trainer (and yes, we prefer to be called by the full title and not just trainer--you'll see why) is a person who is trained in injury prevention, evaluation, treatment, rehabilitation, education and counseling regarding injuries. There are many settings we can work in--high school, collegiate, amateur or professional sports, physical therapy clinics, industrial settings--just to name a few. Athletic trainers earn a degree (BS usually) and many go on to their Masters (like I did--not that I am bragging....;) ) and some even earn their doctorate. As you can see, when we are compared to Personal Trainer's--not that this is a horrible profession, it's just very different from what we have done--it's frustrating. Being called a water girl/boy is frustrating--water is a part of it as injury prevention and people just looking at me like I am an idiot, is, well, frustrating also.
Explanation--
Athletic Training students at my alma mater--James Madison University, recently made a video about the profession and it's pretty good. It's actually gotten them a lot of attention and they will be presenting it at the National meeting in June. I thought this was outstanding and wanted to share it so this is why I have even brought it up so please, check it out. Here's an article and the video which is linked with the article:
http://www.nbcwashington.com/around-town/events/Training-For-Fame-93062889.html

Class Dismissed!
Now please never refer to an athletic trainer as a water boy/girl or athletic supporter again!

In the News

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36918788/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

A horrible thing happened recently--a lacrosse player brutally beat a female lacrosse player (his ex girlfriend) which resulted in her death. It's a horrible and sad story--one that I have been following closely. See above link for information--there is a video on that link where you can watch the story I am referring to. On the Today Show, they were discussing if her murder could have prevented because the male had a history of abuse and her friends had seen it and done nothing. Here is my problem with this story--it seems like they are now blaming the victim and her friends for her murder. This is insane! How many times have women reported abuse and there was nothing done about it and they were attacked/murdered regardless of what was done. Do restraining orders really prevent this? NO! Should she have reported it--sure. Should her friends--sure, but could her death have been prevented--NO! Don't put the blame on the wrong person here. The male went in, couldn't control his anger and murdered her--and has admitted it. Period. We should not be analyzing this and saying that fault lays in the hands of her or her friends who said nothing. Also, listening to the defense attorney calling this a tragic accident--HIDEOUS and disgusting. He admitted to shaking her which caused her to repeatedly bang her head against a wall--that doesn't sound like an accident to me.


Next item--less important but disturbing to me as well. On the View--Elizabeth Hasselbeck made some unkind/ridiculous remarks about Dancing with the Stars cast member Erin Andrews regarding her costumes. Here's the link:
http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/05/86800/index.html
WHAT! So it appears to me saying that she deserves to be stalked because of the costumes. Has Hasselbeck seen what the other women are wearing??? Yes--the costumes are revealing but does that mean they deserve to be stalked/harassed.... because of them? Get real! That goes back to the old feeling that if a women dresses a certain way, they are "asking for it". At least she apologized--but still it's just plain stupid.

So many more things to think about now

First off I want to say that I am not bashing any diets/food restrictions,.....whatever at all in this post. So if I offend anyone, believe it or not, it's not intentional.

Okay--a little history. I live in a nice neighborhood and attempted to start a Mom's group. That diidn't pan out for whatever reason, butI met a couple really awesome mom's and we just decided to hang out whenever we could, not just based on a schedule. The idea was a good one, but just not enough interest I guess. That being said, I am still open to the idea so when I find out that someone in our neighborhood has a baby, even if I don't know them, or if a new family moves close by, I try to do something nice--usually a meal of some sort. You know, just to suck up a little and make new friends. Whether they eat it, get freaked out and throw it away, who knows, but I just do it anyway. Make an effort you see. Well, here's my problem. I know so many people who are following diets of some sort--gluten free, strictly organic, low sodium, vegetarian.... so my question is, if I don't know the family, what the heck do I make?? I like for it to be somewhat of a surprise because if you call/stop by and say what you want to do, you'll get the "You don't have to do that......" response. So do I do my usual (baked ziti and a salad if you must know) or what? It's quite the dilemma I am in. I guess I could do nothing or buy gifts but then I have to wonder--will they cloth diaper, breastfeed or formula, do they use "Green" wipes/products..... SIGH. Way too many things to think about anymore!