A letter to my metabolism

Dear Metabolism,
You suck. You really suck. Just wanted to tell you that. I know I am 37 years old and I shouldn't expect that much from you, but you've been doing this to me for years. I have tried to be patient, I have tried to be nice, but I am done. I am doing everything I can to speed you up, however you are persistent that you would rather move at a snail's pace and frankly, I think that it's really not cool. Five weeks ago, I made a huge change in my diet. I have cut tons of calories, especially ones from sugar. I have been working out like crazy 5-6 days a week. I am doing cross training and changing it up weekly and I KNOW I have gained muscle. I can tell. What have you done for me? Um, let's think. Oh yeah, I have lost 1 pound. 1 pound in 5 weeks of working my tail off and eating less. What do you want from me anyway? I know that I have lost weight before, however, I was MISERABLE. I was eating right at 1000 calories a day, working out 1 hour a day sometimes 2 and was in pure misery! I am not asking to eat 2500+, but could I eat 1500 at least so I am not starving all day. I made it through the Halloween season and have had candy 2 days--and only a small amount. I am drinking maybe 4 sodas a week (down from 7-10 if I must be totally honest), I haven't touched alcohol in 5 weeks, and I am getting up consistently to work out. Do you think you could help me out a bit and speed up? I am not asking for much, but snail's pace isn't working for me.

Sincerely,
Someone really sick of her weight.