Sunday, October 16, 2011

My Life the past few days

Things sure have gotten interesting. I didn't mention anything here because I just didn't feel like it so let me back up. Back in the Spring I began having "issues" so finally in June, I saw my OB and he diagnosed me with Adenomyosis and although there were options. I didn't really like them. Me and birth control pills do not get along and I didn't want to be on them for years. I had no desire to get an IUD--plus it would only help a couple of the symptoms and I didn't want to just wait it out until menopause soooooo DH and I talked and after meeting with the OB again, I opted to have a partial hysterectomy. Why? 1) We were done having children anyway. 2) I am in the best shape I have been in and so I thought that I would recovery quickly from surgery. 3) I was tired of the symptoms I was having and didn't really want to wait any longer. So surgery was Oct. 12. I knew there were the potential for complications but was very optimistic. Once again my body betrayed me. I went in at 8:30 AM for what should have been an hour to hour and a half surgery. I woke up at 2:30 in recovery and found out that they had just gotten finished. If you don't want to hear the TMI details, stop reading...........
Okay, I gave you a chance so if you are still reading don't say I didn't warn you. What they found was that I had so much scar tissue from my 2 CSections that my uterus was adhered to my bladder so when they tried to get the uterus out, you can imagine what happened to my bladder. Yeppers. Bladder was damaged so down comes a urologist to repair it but because of all the scar tissue, he had to take care of that before repair so after they told Jay it would be 30 min more, 2 hours later, he's getting a little freaked. So now all surgery is done and I have no uterus, a repaired bladder, a drain coming from my abdomen, a catheter in place for up to 2 weeks and a long road of recovery. On top of that, now I have staples going from my belly button down to my Csection scar. Lovely. Good thing is, I don't wear bikinis or anything that shows my belly ever. I actually came out of surgery looking about 5 months preggo. I finally get up the next day and realize that that weird feeling I had in my legs, particularly the right leg was actually stress on the femoral nerve. My leg is numb from my hip down to midcalf--on the inside of the leg. Add a walker to the list of the things I am taking home. They did a CT just to make sure there was no injury or blood clots and that all came back great however they found that I have kidney stones. Yay. The good thing is, I have this lovely catheter so I have the chance to catch the stones so the urologist can analyze them to find out why I have gotten them so many times. Gotta look at the positive side. To recap, I have lots of appointments over the next few weeks with a urologist, neurologist, OGBYN, and physical therapist.
Now, I am at my mom's because she has a one story house and a great driveway for me to walk and the bonus.....NO STAIRS!! That could be a challenge since I can't lift my leg very well and have little strength. So a week ago today, I was able to run 4+ miles, was circuit training like crazy and I hiked 8 miles on Old Rag and had very little problems. Today, I am at my mom's wearing her night gowns (thanks to the catheter, nothing else is comfortable), walking around her driveway with a walker and slippers since I can't bend or put on my own shoes (or pants or socks....) at the pace of 1 mph as Troy has decided (and he's right), unable to drive and most importantly, care for my own children. Thank God Jay has been able to take off and help and take on the role of Mr. Mom. Thank God, my mom is willing and able to help me and thank God, we have good friends and family that are willing to come bring meals or just visit to help keep my mood up. As you can imagine, I have been feeling those not so great emotions--sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, basically a pathetic human being and having lots of pity parties for myself. For those that know me, I have major control issues and this is a HUGE challenge to have to ask for help and even harder yet, knowing I NEED help. BUT I am going to do only what I should be able and not push it because there's no way I am keeping this catheter in for any longer than I have to. I hate this thing with a passion and am counting down the days. Unfortunately, time passes slowly when all you can do is read, watch TV, nap and take very short walks. Sound like heaven to some of you? Let me remind you I have 2 boys BEGGING to sit in my lap and they can't. Begging me to come home, to play with them, to give them attention and I can't. Yeah, understand now why I am feeling so low? I am trying to stay positive, but I will not lie that this is very hard for me.


  1. sweetie speedy recovery, i had a rny gastric bypass surgery 4wks ago. an due to some medical conditions i came home pimpin a walker too. have had many set backs with my rny but i stay positive. an like anyone knows us madison gurls always can find the positive. just do like me...tell urslf at least now we can mobile cart race in love you sweetie

  2. I am so sorry that things did not go well with the surgery. Prayers that healing is quick and painless and soon you will be running 4 miles again!

  3. Bless your soul Valerie! Before I read this I thought, "I bet it's so hard for her not to be active." But good grief. That's a lot to deal with. Healing prayers for you. Hope you're back to moving soon.