Tuesday, June 28, 2011


This has been a very challenging few days. Not for me personally, but tragedies affect me differently now that I am a parent and I feel sick and heartbroken when people I barely know or have never even met are going through tough times. I am truly feeling at a loss this week because of 2 horrendous tragedies that have happened, both dealing with very young children. A 9 month old died from head trauma after a fall from a low height. It's impossible to imagine what the parents went through immediately after as they try to understand what caused a very common incident with young children to become fatal. In the other, a young child around 3 drowned in a pool on a family vacation. I do not know the details so I cannot share any more than that, but it is something I cannot stop thinking about. I cannot stop picturing either accident in my head. I cannot stop feeling sick for these parents and the grief they are feeling. The other thing is that I cannot stop the anger. I have written about this before (see My Faith and Healing) and honestly still struggle at times. I could feel it all bubbling again today when I woke up. I just started the day angry, short fused, no patience, everything bothered me and quite frankly, I was very *itchy. I just couldn't stop it. In my heart, I knew that I should be grateful and so thankful for any and all time--good and bad--I get with my children and should enjoy every minute, but I was struggling. And it's all because this is how I deal with sadness. I cry when I am alone, but when anyone else is around, I get angry. Not at them, but because I feel so completely and utterly helpless. I can't do a thing to help these people. I can't change the situation. I can't comfort them with just the right words. I just can't do anything and I hate it. I wish I could stop the anger. I wish that I could say that I fully trust God's plan, and in a way I do, but I just don't like it. I don't understand it and I would love to know why these things happen, but like I said in a previous blog, I *have* to believe that there's a reason. I have to because if I don't, I am totally helpless. At least now I can do one thing and that is pray for comfort and peace for the families that are devastated with grief right now.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
Lamentations 3:31-33
For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

What a week!

The boys are at Vacation Bible School all week and I have been teaching the 3 and 4 year olds (and Will who refused to stay with "Squeeze" (Ms. Louise but for some reason he refuses to call her that). It has been exhausting and I am learning probably just as much as they are.
* Troy is a totally different child this year so I am feeling much more confident about him starting school. Will there be issues? Sure. But given the fact that there has been so much less anxiety for him this year and being told by a few people how much of a leader he is really helps ease my mind.
* Will is probably more ready for preschool than I give him credit for. Don't get me wrong, he's still not going this year, but I think he could handle it. He's actually been a decent little "student"
* I am NOT meant to teach young ages. I had a lot of respect for Preschool teachers before, but it's even more so now. 3s and 4s are TOUGH! Or I am just really a bad teacher, which is very well possible. I taught high school for 5 years and would take a class of 20 freshman any day LOL
* VBS is exhausting. My boys have been so beat. Troy went to bed at 6:45 the other night--and it was his idea. I was very much on board, but still, he sent himself to bed. And many of the other kids were definitely showing signs of the same.
* As much as I love the VBS music and cute songs, I should not be the one singing loudly....Let's hope no one has me on video or audio. Luckily, people keep reminding me that God doesn't mind (although everyone else around me probably does)
* Giving 3 year olds their own containers of bubbles.....not a great idea or at least have lots of paper towels handy (luckily we were outside)
* Next year, if I am asked to teach again, I will bring LOTS more playdough and study how to make really cool things with blocks as this was much more entertaining than my re enactments of bible stories. Although, I really think I did a wonderful rendition of the Good Samaritan.
* As much as I struggled teaching the youngsters, I realized that I miss teaching and regret letting my certificate go :( I wonder how much it would cost to get my certification back (and I wonder if Jay will read this and wonder what I am thinking and knock sense into me?)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Whew! That was a close one!

My conversation with Troy yesterday:
Just a quick explanation of what led up to this--we were trying to come up with dinner ideas and Troy decided that we had to have grilled cheese and tomato soup. You know, the perfect hot summer dinner....
Me: I know you guys are starving so I will cut up some of Granny's cucumbers for you to eat while it's cooking.
Troy: That's not going to be enough.
Me: Well, what else would you like to have? How about some tomatoes?
Troy: MOOOOMMMMMM, we're having TOMATO soup. That's just silly.
Me: Oh wow. I can't believe I even thought that (sense sarcasm here please)
Troy: I think I am going to buy a new mommy that isn't so silly.
Me: Where exactly do you plan on buying this mommy?
Troy: I don't even know. (thinks a moment) I guess I will just have to go to a yard sale.
Me: And how much do you think a new mommy would cost?
Troy: Zero dollars
Me: Really? You don't think you could sell me in a yard sale and get money for me?
Troy: I think I will just keep you Mommy after all.
Me: Whew! You had me worried for a minute Troy.

Friday, June 17, 2011


Tonight, I have a meeting to help plan our 20th (yes, you read that correctly) High School Reunion. I don't feel old until I hear that and realize that I have been out of high school that long. I have to admit, I wasn't a fan of high school, wouldn't go back if you paid me, but I am actually very excited to see my "old" classmates again :) So in honor of this, let's take a look back shall we? Now, others can feel old with me or totally make fun of me and call my Grandma:
The #1 Song the week I graduated:
More Than Words by Extreme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY)
The Top Movie of the Year:
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Television in 1991:
Dallas ends
Most popular shows that year:
1. 60 Minutes (CBS)2. Roseanne (ABC)3. Murphy Brown (CBS)4. Cheers (NBC)5. Home Improvemnt (ABC)6. Designing Women (CBS)7. Full House (ABC)8. Murder, She Wrote (CBS)9. Major Dad (CBS)10. Coach (ABC)
Read more:http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/384/TV/1991+Most+Popular+TV+shows.aspx#ixzz1PYkDHHnH

Technology: The internet was created in Aug. 1991--after we graduated (Yes, when I was in school, there was no internet), MS DOS 5.0 was released, we took computer PROGRAMMING classes, we used a typewriter, cell phones were not even close to what they are now. Take a look:
Top News: Operation Desert Storm, Rodney King beating caught on video, Jeffrey Dahmer is arrested

And what really makes me feel old....
Cost of Living:

Cost Of Living 1991

How Much things cost in 1991
Yearly Inflation Rate USA4.25%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 3168
Interest Rates Year End Federal Reserve 6.50%
Average Cost of new house $120,000.00
Average Income per year $29,430.00
Average Monthly Rent $495.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas $1.12
1 LB of Bacon $1.95
Dozen Eggs 85 cents

Monday, June 13, 2011

He's Very Proud of Himself

I was exhausted this morning so decided to sleep in rather than get up, work out, shower and get ready for the day. I figured if we went somewhere I could just shower quickly while the boys played. Good idea, right? Well, see for yourself....
The hair....
The face....
and the hands....
I know, I know. What was I thinking? Letting a 2.5 year old play unsupervised for 10 min. Apparently, he thought it would be a great chance to lotion up and take great care of his skin and hair. I don't think he quite needed this much though. Lesson learned.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Apparently, I Have High Expectations...

I understand that my children are young. I understand that young children are still learning and developing and have all these impulses. I also understand that there are children that are so much worse behaved then mine, but is it too much to ask that my children behave somewhat in public? Is it too much to ask that I be able to take them to a place and not have to constantly say "Stop. Don't put that in your mouth. That's not a toy, we don't play with that. Your food is coming, so please be patient. We sit still at the table. Please wait until I am done talking. Don't pour that out. The cards are not toys so don't throw them around. Use gentle touches. We don't hit/kick our brother". And that was basically in a 5 min trip to the store. We ran into someone we know there and I was talking with her--in whatever kind of conversation you can have when you are saying all the above. The whole time we are talking, her 5 year old daughter sat there and ate her lunch, didn't try to get down, didn't make silly noises.....I apologized to the women working for their behavior and they said "Oh, they were good. They didn't do anything wrong. They are just little boys." WHAT? I know they were trying to be nice because they could tell I was frustrated since I had already taken away EVERYTHING and told them they lost even more things when we got home but saying they were good??? Apparently, my expectation are way too high except for the fact that I see young children behaving in public all. the. time. We've been having major issues at the table lately, mainly with Will, but Troy is no angel. It's been so bad that I have left in the middle of a meal or even taken Will outside to sit in the car while Jay and Troy finish eating in peace. I just don't understand because we've been eating family meals--home or out for 5 years now and we don't act like that and there is always a consequence for misbehaving. I finally am putting my foot down and we eat all meals at home (or in the car if life is busy) when it allows. But I can't avoid taking them out in public. I can't avoid the errands that are necessary, but honestly, the way things have been, I don't feel like they should be out and about. But how else do they learn without being put in these situations? I was so humiliated last night at dinner and then today because other children are there and sitting quietly--the same ages as mine, but yet, mine are bouncing off the walls and acting up. Are my expectations too high? Or am I just a crappy parent who can't get her children to behave? There has to be something that helps and I REFUSE to resort to bribery.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Before and After

No, I am not doing before and after pics of anything fantastic ;) I was just thinking about this the other day and thought I would point out a couple Befores and Afters.

Before and After Children:
Before--Jay and I would stay up and watch one of the late night talk shows without even thinking twice.
After--now Jay is normally in bed by 9/9:30 and even on weekends, 10:15 is considered a late night

Before--Jay and I would play cards with family until late and talk, laugh, drink beer.....
After--We sit at home watching TV/sports, playing Wii and drinking beer :) (just a couple of course)

Before--waking before 9AM on a weekend called for a "What's bothering you?" conversation
After--waking before 9 (actually 7) is normal

Before--weekends were spent doing projects--mowing, cleaning, shopping, washing the car....
After--weekends are spent doing trying to find something fun to do with the kids--pool, playground, local events....(so much more fun)

Before--going to work 5 days a week plus, working my tail off, having to be "on" at all times and having to deal with normal work drama all day long
After--working 7 days a week, no holidays off, no financial pay, but getting to spend my days with the two most adorable kiddos ♥ Yes there is normal drama, but as my cousin Kim said "A bad day at home is still better than a good day at work" :)

Yes, children change everything. There are so many befores and afters that can be mentioned but honestly, I will take my early to bed/early to rise any day over life any day! I mean, look at these faces.....