Thursday, October 28, 2010

Week 4 of Healthier Me

Sooooooooo, yeah. Week 4. This is a tough week (as all women have). Won't say more, but I am sure you understand. The last 3 weeks have been relatively easy and I have stuck with it. Until today. I have a confession to make. I cheated today. I felt sooooo guilty but the day started off horribly. Last night, I stayed up too late finishing a book so decided to skip the 6AM workout. BAD MOVE. I should have known better--to stay up late first of all, but I definitely should have just sucked it up, gotten up and worked out. I would have felt better and had a better attitude if I would have just gotten my lazy butt up. Then, I took Will on some errands and ended up at the drug store where they have crushed ice. There is nothing like a soda on crushed ice. Weird? Maybe, but it's YUMMY. So I got a Coke, no biggee. It was my one treat for the day. Then, this evening came and I took the boys out for dinner because we were out and it was wayyyyy past dinner so I did the quick route. After dinner, I let them split a small milkshake for dessert. After drinking a bit of it, Troy decides he doesn't like it and so I just say, "Well, I might as well just blow it today since I didn't work out"....the same old attitude I had 4 weeks ago. I didn't drink a lot--probably 1/2 at most, but that's not the point. The point is I not only skipped my workout, I had 2 "treats". SIGH. It made me feel so guilty that I did a workout after the boys went to bed. Nothing hugely strenuous since I had just eaten and it was so close to bedtime, but I still did 45 minutes of WiiFit. I know I shouldn't beat myself up over 1 slip up, but I am so determined that I will not fall back into the thought of "Well, I already blew it, so I might as well eat/drink.....". Especially with Halloween coming up and all that yummy chocolatey candy that will be right there tempting me EVERY day (we are cruel parents and won't let the boys have more than 1-2 pieces a day tops so it lasts for months) ACK! I have to stay strong and not have another day like this!
I did learn something about myself though this week. I kind of already knew it, but I confirmed it yesterday. I am a huge emotional eater. I was in a horrible mood yesterday and wanted candy ALL day. I kept saying to myself that one piece would just make me feel better, but I didn't give in. Which is yet another reason I felt so horrible about today. I just let myself fall right back into the pattern. However, I will not let it happen again. I can tell that I am losing weight or at least toning and I have been feeling so much better overall. Now, if I can only remember that the next time I feel like skipping the 6AM workout.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Letter To Sesame Street

Dear Sesame Street,
I know that technically the experts say that TV is bad for kids and that young children shouldn't watch and yada yada yada, but I allow my kids to watch a little bit. Some days more than other, but that's beside the point. Almost every day when my oldest son (almost 5) gets up, he runs into my room wanting to watch Sesame Street. That is fine with me. I like your show as much as an adult can. Soon after, my youngest (almost 2) wants to do the same and he wants me to watch with him. That too is fine. Like I said, I like your show much better than some of the other options (like Barney, Calliou, Arthur....but again, that's a different story). So what is my problem you ask? Listen, I know that times are tough economically and it may be costly to pay Elmo's salary. I mean, you had to let The Count go (I miss him by the way Ah Ah Ah--that's my imitation of him as best I can type it) and so you understand. However, why do we have to keep watching the same episodes over and over? We are watching the same 4 episodes--some days back to back--OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND....It's a new season and yet, there really aren't new episodes? What is up with that? I get that the letter of the day is either C, F or L and I am getting a little tired of Kelly looking for the Golden Triangle or watching the Shoe Fairy (although I do love Neil Patrick Harris). My son, who has watched his Firefighting movie somewhere around q29834756104 times even said he doesn't want to watch anymore. So is it too much to ask for a little more variety? Maybe it's not you, maybe it's our local PBS station, but still. Just remember that some parents actually watch with their kids and not just throw them in front of the TV to go off and do other things. I do understand that there are many more important things I should be worried about, but hey, if my kids are complaining I feel like it's important for me to say something.
One very bored Momma

Monday, October 25, 2010

Fall Fun

Before Troy started preschool we did a lot of painting. He painted himself more than anything, but still, on days it wasn't possible to be outside, we painted. For some reason, when he started preschool, we just didn't do it anymore. I think that Will has painted once? How horrible is that! My poor deprived almost 2 year old! This weekend, Troy and Will received a thank you gift from a friend whose birthday party was last weekend. She used the paints we bought her to paint a gourd to give to them. Troy loved it and since it was going to rain today, I stole the idea :D We went to the store, bought a few and I let the boys go to town! It's funny because Troy loves paint, especially the getting messy part of paint. Will, surprising to me, doesn't like that part. He much prefers the brushes and if he even got any on his hand, he wanted me to clean it off. That is until he watched me paint with my hands and then he went a little nuts, but then started yelling BATH!!!! It was fun for all of us and a great way to spend a rainy Fall day.

The paints didn't do great, and they are still wet, but here is the final product

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The With-It Mom is the New Cheerleader

Think back to high school days for a minute. Remember the girls you used to look at with envy for whatever reason--looks, fashion, smarts, boyfriends, popularity... or whatever it was about them that made you envy them? For those of you who didn't envy anyone, I am now envious of you :D but anyway....For me, that group was the cheerleaders (not all of them, of course, but the general group). I envied them for various reasons. I was a tomboy HUGE so I looked like a boy for years and didn't really care how I dressed. I just wanted to be comfortable so it was whatever was comfy cozy at the time--sweats, tshirts, jeans. I didn't dress to impress, that is for sure. I didn't wear make up or have a decent hair style. When I got to an age where I started to really want to be noticed by boys, I started caring more about appearance, but I was(and still am really), a FASHION DON'T! I was awkward and uncomfortable and it just wasn't easy. So I would see the cheerleaders and was so envious because they were everything I wasn't--confident, stylish, noticeable....There were girls that weren't cheerleaders that I was envious of as well, but as a whole, I really used to focus on them. It probably also had to do with the fact that my sister was a cheerleader and my idol, so I was automatically drawn to that group.
Now fast forward present day and I am a mom of 2 boys. Now I find myself watching other moms and how they look, how they interact with their children and how they handle any behavior issue. I find myself feeling the same as I did back then. Envious that they still look feminine, that they have style, that they don't seem flustered, that they handle their children without getting upset or yelling, and that they just seem so organized. I would love to look like something other than a chicken running around with their head chopped off. I would love to look like a mom who has their act together. Notice I said, LOOK LIKE, because I am sure behind closed doors, these mom's actually are more like me--they just hide it better (at least I pretend that's how they are to make myself feel better). Sometimes I wonder what other people see when they see me with the boys?? Do they wonder why I don't have more control? Do they wonder why I lose or forget so many things? Do they wonder why I even bother going out at all? I know I shouldn't care. I know I shouldn't be envious of anyone because I am blessed with all I have. I know that back in high school, I should have just been who I wanted to be and not cared and I know that now I should just do the best I can and not worry. But, alas, I do care.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Am I Expecting Too Much

I know that I have very high expectations of my boys with regards to behavior. I know that they are too high, but yet, I can't help myself. I have come to terms with the behavior in church and know they will not be able to just sit and listen until it's time to leave. I don't like it, but yet, so many people in church say they don't mind so both Jay and I have relaxed a bit (not completely, but a bit). I understand they are young children with TONS (and I mean TONS) of energy, so it's hard for them when we go places to not be silly, act up a little and so on, however, I do keep tabs on them and make sure they don't get too out of control. It's hard sometimes because Troy is a follower so if there is someone else doing something, even if he doesn't know them, he'll try it too. And then of course Will just follows whatever big brother is doing and it just gets crazy! But they are just 4 and 23 months after all.
However, I have to draw the line at the dinner table. We've been eating family meals since they were born. We sit at the table, chat, eat and then move on, but lately, this has become miserable. Mainly because Will tries to get a laugh and does something. Then Troy encourages (or lately, instigates and gets Will going) and it gets out of hand. I have tried ignoring Will and getting Troy to ignore him, removing Will from the table for a bit and then trying again, removing him from the table completely and nothing works. We've resorted to our yelling (because we get fed up and finally just snap) which we don't really want to do but I am not lying when I say nothing is working. Finally, today at lunch I had it. They weren't finished eating and Troy was still hungry but they started in with the playing. I gave them both a warning and said if they continued, that was it. No more food, no drink, they were to get away from the table and not allowed to come back and finish or have a snack. Well, right after I said this, guess what happened? Yep, that's right. More bad behavior. So that was it, I did what I said and explained why I was furious. I felt just fine about it too until Troy was whining later about being hungry and wanting to finish his lunch and how he was starving. I didn't give in other than allowing him his milk. He went down for his nap angry at me, refusing to talk to me, not even saying I Love You back to me and turned away when I went to kiss him :( So am I a horrible mommy for expecting good table manners or should I hold strong demanding good behavior even if they go to bed hungry? For those people who always say, "My child knows better than to act up/whine/have bad table manners", how in the world did you get them that way? I certainly feel like we've done a lot and been very strict but it's getting us nowhere????

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I have a new friend!

Yes, I have been wanting to meet this guy forever! And I do mean forever! Jay has tried to introduce me to him many times, but it just never happened for some reason. I don't know what I was expecting, but I really like him and I feel so much better for meeting him. He has already helped me through some tough times and I think I will really like for him to stick around for good. His name is Will. Yes, Willpower is his full name. I must admit that a couple times I have wanted to kick him out, but luckily, he ignores me and has stuck around. Like this morning, the alarm went off and it was time to work out, but I simply turned it off and rolled over deciding I would do it later. Well, do you think Will was going to let that happen? I don't think so. He pretty much kicked me right out of bed. Then later today, I wanted to take the easy route for lunch and just run through a drive through. Just as I was about to turn in to McDonald's....he pretty much took the wheel from me and directed me to go home and just eat there. Pushy, don't you think? It's only been 2 weeks of me changing my lifestyle, but this time has been different. I haven't talked myself out of exercise and I haven't talked myself into eating or drinking something I shouldn't. I think I like Mr. Willpower and hope that he's here to stay!

Monday, October 11, 2010


I must admit that I am a "yeller". I try very hard to stay calm, but when my boys act up sometimes or just don't listen when I am calm, I resort to the yelling. It gets their attention and usually changes things, but I can't stand doing it. It drives me nuts, but for some reason, I haven't been able to stop it completely. I have gotten better, but I still have a long way to go. My husband is too and when he yells, WHEW! It's loud and you shape up quick. He doesn't like doing it either, but yet, we're in the same situation. We can only stay calm and positive for so long. Yesterday was a huge wake up call though. We live on a decent size lot. We can see our neighbors easily, yet we have privacy as well. It's really nice. However, it's not quite far enough for people not to hear us yell. A neighbor's dog came into our yard and while we don't really care, we didn't want him bothering our dog so I walked him home. It's only about .2 of a mile, but I still couldn't believe it when I heard him yelling at the boys. It was so clear I could even understand his exact words. When I was talking with our neighbor, she mentioned that she could hear them outside (not yelling, just playing). I was shocked. Now I am wondering how much everyone has heard from me yelling/fussing at the boys. Have I been THAT parent? The parent that everyone wonders about?? I am not saying that I yell all the time, but at the same time, I have done my fair share....Luckily for me, I read this and got some great tips on how to do things differently:
I think that I will definitely be thinking twice about my volume from now on *blushing as we speak*

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Week 1 Check in!

So just about a week ago, I made the decision to take better care of myself, eat better and exercise 5-6 days a week. I figured I would do reports to keep tabs on myself and hope someone out there may keep me honest ;) The first week went really well and it hasn't been as hard as I thought. I have had issues where I have wanted to cheat and have a soda or a treat, but I have held firm on my 1 a day rule. I have to admit that I have enjoyed getting back into exercise despite getting up at 6AM to do it most days. It's definitely started my day out better and having it done and behind me makes it so much nicer. I am alternating between running, doing Wii Fit or Wii Active and the dreaded Jillian Michael's Shred. She knows how to kick some tail and I despise putting that one in the DVD player, yet when it's done I am in awe of how I did so much work in 20 minutes. It's tough but worth it. Have I lost weight in the week? Maybe a pound. Have I been dreading the 6AM wake up? You bet. Have I been sore? You got it. Has it been worth it? No doubt in my mind. In just a week, I have felt better, been in a better mood, slept better and today, put on a pair of jeans that were super loose. Just the motivation I need to keep it up! Today will be a test though--going to my sister's for cake and ice cream and then tonight is a fund raising dinner for the local Fire Company and they have the most amazing chocolate cake. Decisions Decisions......I can only pick one........

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Writer's Block

I have started about 5 different posts yet none of them feel right. I have so much on my mind yet everything is so jumbled that it's not coming out the way I want to. Things are so good right now in so many ways, yet so many of my thoughts were negative and I just couldn't go with them tonight. Troy is doing well, Will is really coming along with speech, the weather is gorgeous....and so on. I haven't felt this content in so long and it's SOOOO nice! So since I can't get thoughts together, I will just share some random pics :) Pics are good, right?!?!?

Beautiful Fall pic--I just love Fall!
Our Beach adventure from a couple weekends ago
Troy found a horse shoe crab tail
My beach bum
Troy's new favorite thing

And the shirt says it all :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

Time for Change

I did this a while ago and it didn't work :( I finally decided that I would make a change to lose weight and started really well. However, when I "diet" I get more and more obsessed with food and it becomes ridiculous. I think about it all the time, crave anything I shouldn't have and just become downright miserable. I did really well with my exercise but the eating...not so much. After my 4 mile race, I took some time off because of knee issues. This time off turned into a month of almost no exercise except a walk here and there. Here's the odd thing--I actually lost 3 lbs??? It was weird so I just kept going with it. I was eating and drinking crap and feeling guilty about everything--what I was putting in my body, the fact I wasn't exercising and just overall being a slug. Plus, I am pretty sure the weight loss was muscle just wasting away. I felt like junk, looked worse than I felt and pretty much was miserable. So I decided that I was done with it. No more self sabotage. Beginning Oct. 1, I made a change. I am back to exercising 5-6 days a week, I am eating better, but allowing myself 1 treat a day (a coffee, dessert, soda or beer), and I was going to learn to get past the cravings and obsession. It's only been a few days but I am feeling more positive about it all and plan to be successful. I have no goals right now regarding weight loss either. I just want to feel better and take better care of my health. Part of me wanted to take measurements and post them, but I just felt like that wasn't in my best interest (plus, I didn't have anyway to do it :) ). I feel like this may be better for me anyway--just looking at it from a healthy standpoint rather than putting emphasis on weight. Now, anyone want to join me?!?!?!