Sunday, August 29, 2010
I miss my boys
It's the weirdest thing. There are some days when I just need time alone. I love my boys more than anything, but need that time to myself to unwind, recoup....whatever. I have a wonderful weekend coming up in a couple of weeks where I get to do this and it is much needed. I will miss them like crazy but know that I will come back refreshed and a better mother. Then why has it been killing me to be away from them this weekend. I had an event I helped plan yesterday that has kept me busy. I came home from it exhausted but feeling great. Within an hour of being home, that all changed and I got very ill. Like, couldn't leave the bed except for the nausea issue, kind of ill. It killed me yesterday hearing the boys playing and getting ready for bed and I couldn't be a part of it. Then today, they left and went to church and to my mom's for the usual Sunday afternoon and I sit here so sad that I am not with them. Jay took them swimming to keep them more away from the house which I totally understand and I am extremely upset because I want them here. I know it's all been for the best to hopefully prevent them from getting this lovely bug I have, but man, it has been so hard. Parenting is weird. I am forced to let Jay take care of everything and rest and it's killing me, yet all I have wanted for the past weeks is to have the time where he has to take care of everything and I can rest.